The Devil Inside
1987 I think it was, when INXS came out with the song Devil Inside. I was 17 years old and more of a hard rocker heavy metal kinda guy, but I do remember the song and secretly tapping my foot to it:) Little did I know, that right around that time, my own devil inside was in full development, and would ramp up and stay with me throughout my whole playing career which didn’t end until 2007.
At seventeen I was in to my third year of junior already, and drinking was a huge part of the scene. Like most, fitting in and being a part of the team was very important to me. But I’m not gonna lie, the whole atmosphere of partying, whether it be at a house or a bar, was the hook for me. This quickly became a part of my lifestyle, and I took on the motto “play hard/party hard” to some extreme levels. It was actually looked at as a badge of honour in some sense, that as long as you came to the rink ready to play, that it didn’t matter what you did away from the rink. It is strange looking back, that I never was a casual drinker, someone that had a beer or wine with dinner. I was either all in or nothing.
I could write a whole book on the stories and escapades that happened during my 6 years of junior and 15 years of pro, but that is not what this is about. This is about me sharing how I view myself, how I was, and the things I did. Thinking about those days and now realising how much better I could have been, in my play and in my life, had I not been such a hard partier. One of the biggest things I talk about in my coaching is having balance, and my past is a big part of my thinking now.
You never see yourself with clear vision when you are younger and in the moment. And you definitely don’t see reality when you are fogged from the booze. It’s funny, and sad at the same time, for me looking back at all the things I did and the mistakes I made. A part of me wishes that I had someone to help guide me and help avoid some of the manholes I fell in. But there is another part of me that understands that all of it has made me a good coach and essentially who I am today.
It wasn’t long after I retired from playing and I hit around 40, that my mind and especially my body decided that I didn’t want to drink anymore. I knew it was time and probably long overdue that I follow a different path.
I’m not here to tell you that drinking is the devil and that you shouldn’t drink. I just want to share with you my experience with alcohol and the role it played in my career. You probably don’t know this, but when I was 16 and coming up to my first NHL draft year, I was ranked the top goalie in the draft. True story…haha:) There was a path laid out for me, and it was very promising. But I can honestly say now, that I was largely responsible for me not having a career in the NHL, and drinking was a big part of it.
I was lucky enough to have a long career playing for which I’m thankful. But I know in my heart that my drinking and partying made my career and my whole life a lot more challenging. Playing wise, when I was on… I was very good. But there would be nights that I wasn’t the best version of myself and my emotions would run hot and cold. Remember what I said about balance… I was basically a seesaw:) And when your mind isn’t clear, it is very hard to balance yourself out.
My message to you through all of this, is not to tell you that you shouldn’t drink. My message is this, having a balanced life is so important to having success in whatever it is that you are striving for. And having a clear and healthy mind and body is part of that equation.
It’s been many many years since I’ve drank, and I am feeling better now at 52 (almost 53) than I did when I was in my 20’s. Everyday is a gift and I am thankful. I’m thankful that I’ve come out of it all alive, and thankful that I get to help people level out the seesaw, and get some balance in their lives.
Thanks for letting me share this little part of me.
Dusty Imoo